How cute is this? <3
Life has bounced back rather nicely the past few weeks. I’m back to being social and exercising regularly again (I look pretty damn good hehe). Just noticed this morning that my ex de-friended me on facebook. I few months ago I would have been really hurt. But instead I just laughed to myself a bit at the irony, considering she was the one who wanted to remain friends. I guess that’s how I know I’m ready to move on. It’s still a little bittersweet, but it feels nice to be leaving behind all that bullshit. It feels nice to be moving forward again.
Why is the pain so great? Why can’t I let her go? I miss her so fucking much.
My loneliness is palpable. I miss my ex so much; she crushed me and wants to pretend like nothing ever happened, and I still miss her.
I bought a condo last week! I close in the beginning of February. You’d think I was a grown-up =)
Life is moving at an awesomely rapid pace, and it makes me happy.
You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don’t even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me — the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods—
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.
You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house— , and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,—
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening…