Death in the family

So my uncle passed away earlier today. He was diagnosed with cancer about 5 months ago. He was one of the nicest people I’ve ever known. I miss him. FUCK.

8 months ago
0 notes

Why must neoplasm be so malignant?

My uncle was diagnosed with cancer about 2 weeks ago. It’s stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to his liver and his spine. He is estimated to have 8 months left. I took a few days off to visit with him, help him around the house, help with his kids (long story), etc.

We have actually been having a lot of fun together; I’ve been making a bunch of nice dishes to entice him to eat, and keeping up with my little cousins makes him happy and gives him time to rest. They are his biggest concern, so I think help him to realize that his family will be there to raise them is reassuring to him.

The only hard part of this was when I first saw him. Before all this mess started, my uncle was always very friendly, boisterous, and talkative. He was never a particularly big man, rather lean actually, but the way he spoke and carried himself gave him a certain quality. Seeing him for the first time after chemotherapy was something I had prepared myself for, albeit inadequately. Seeing my uncle reduced to a bed-ridden husk barely capable of speaking above a whisper, that was the part that really got me.

Eat healthy, exercise daily, die anyway. That’s the phrase most aligned with how my uncle feels right now. I don’t feel that way, so hopefully I can lend him some of my positivity. Cancer really is a c word.

1 year ago
0 notes
This is awesome. That’s all.

This is awesome. That’s all.

(Source: primegifs, via themagicseaweed)

1 year ago
106,820 notes
How cute is this? <3

How cute is this? <3

1 year ago
0 notes

And so it goes

Life has bounced back rather nicely the past few weeks. I’m back to being social and exercising regularly again (I look pretty damn good hehe). Just noticed this morning that my ex de-friended me on facebook. I few months ago I would have been really hurt. But instead I just laughed to myself a bit at the irony, considering she was the one who wanted to remain friends. I guess that’s how I know I’m ready to move on. It’s still a little bittersweet, but it feels nice to be leaving behind all that bullshit. It feels nice to be moving forward again.

1 year ago
1 note

Why is the pain so great? Why can’t I let her go? I miss her so fucking much.

1 year ago
0 notes
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.

Sitting outside in the Caymans

Dogs bark at the stars

Wind and insects harmonize

Splendid island night

1 year ago
3 notes
shanybayybeh:

gotta love it…

Nothing in my life is bad right now&#8230;everything is going quite well actually. I&#8217;m just getting one of those feelings that I get every now and then. Just this burning desire to up and leave. To go somewhere. Anywhere. To just not be here. I have the soul of a nomad.

shanybayybeh:

gotta love it…

Nothing in my life is bad right now…everything is going quite well actually. I’m just getting one of those feelings that I get every now and then. Just this burning desire to up and leave. To go somewhere. Anywhere. To just not be here. I have the soul of a nomad.

1 year ago
5 notes
francescasollowayportfolio:

The Milky Way above the horizon 

Feeling wistful tonight. Reliving all the great times I had when I used to travel to random countries. After running around town till the early hours of the morning, I would sometimes sit on my hotel room balcony or some such place and look out at the night sky. Walking home tonight I was gazing at the stars and reconnected with those memories. Wanderlust.

francescasollowayportfolio:

The Milky Way above the horizon 

Feeling wistful tonight. Reliving all the great times I had when I used to travel to random countries. After running around town till the early hours of the morning, I would sometimes sit on my hotel room balcony or some such place and look out at the night sky. Walking home tonight I was gazing at the stars and reconnected with those memories. Wanderlust.

1 year ago
13 notes
Frogs make me happy.

Frogs make me happy.

(via theanimalblog)

1 year ago
69,583 notes

I’m an adult!

I bought a condo last week! I close in the beginning of February. You’d think I was a grown-up =)

Life is moving at an awesomely rapid pace, and it makes me happy.

1 year ago
2 notes
366sketchbook:

214/366
“I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.”—Haruki Murakami

366sketchbook:

214/366

I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning.”—Haruki Murakami

(via themagicseaweed)

1 year ago
4,459 notes
Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.